President Tingod

A Letter from Skippy

On occasion I receive letters from my loyal fan.

Dear President Tingod,

How are you, President? (I can never convince him it's the name of my blog, not my name). I am fine.

Like you, I couldn't fall asleep the evening of November 4. I was so excited by the earth-shaking results! Yes, Anatoly S. Scidbange, my candidate for Deputy Under Commissioner for Stagnant Muddywater County, was elected. Scidbange is a strong proponent of the Organization Banning All Multi-letter Acronyms, and I was so pleased to see so many adherents of this cause were on the streets! Of course, they were still using acronyms, but you know, change takes time. We will ban this barbaric practice!

One day another practice will be banned... draggy bags. I wound my way down the steps of the Metro and tried to find a train coming home, I tripped over a woman dragging her luggage in a draggy bag. Fortunately, another draggy bag caught my fall... which rolled me into another draggy bag, which rolled over me. Owww! I felt worse than John McCain. So, cursing "INCOMPREHENSIBLE BUREAUCRACY!" I limped home.

Why do people carry things in draggy bags? Why can't they carry their things in a sensible thing, like pockets? I carry everything I need in my pockets... my wallet, my keys, my lunch money, my flashlight, my iPod, my ham radio, my camera, my rain wrap, my spare socks, my medication, my other medication, and so forth. Of course, this takes a little work, but I can sew on extra pockets with my cloth and needle and thread (which of course, I carry in my pockets).

Well, necessity is the mother of invention, as Benjamin Frank Zappa said. Therefore, I went back to my Secret Lab (Google Maps) and I started working on an invention that will obviate the need of draggy bags.

I interviewed several women on the subway (yeah... "Why did you carry that?") and it's because they NEED these things. So, they carry it in a bag because it's heavy. Therefore, anti-gravity is the logical answer. Why hasn't anyone though of it?

My first prototype was successful. It could lift 25 pounds. Unfortunately, the power plant weighed 125 pounds.

The second prototype was successful. It could lift 25 pounds, but the power plant weighed only 24 pounds. However, who wants to carry only one pound to the office? It would work if we were nudists... but...

So, I had to rethink my power source.

What is the central power source? What is the center motivator of the universe?

That's right... FEAR. Raw, honking fear! It is fear that caused the first caveman to beat the honk out of the first caveduck. (The bears and tigers came later; see my Patented Time Machine Viewer Window, available in Unix and MS-DOS). It was fear that triggered the invention of radar and microwave ovens and stock derivatives and all the glorious inventions that make the 21st Century what it is.

To derive a power source out of fear is easy. I showed a picture of Sarah Palin in a bikini to a member of the Democratic Underground and a picture of Nancy Pelosi in a bikini to members of the Free Republic. By combining the fear, I was able to devise a device that will lift a big draggy bag all the way from Baltimore to Crystal City without tripping innocuous mad scientists.

So, President, I hope you enjoy this invention as much as I will.

Sincerely,

Augustus Claude von Hochendorff von Berling von Dinkendorf und zu Meckleberg, otherwise known as "Skippy."

The National Zoo

My Political Philosophy - A Minifesto

This is not a complete manifesto of my beliefs, but it is neither  a random collection of thoughts. It is an explanation of whom I am and why I am writing this blog. As Pascal noted, if I had more time it would be shorter.

I am a Christian. I recite the Nicene and Apostles’ Creed wholeheartedly.  I am an evangelical who is a member of the Lutheran Church-Missouri Synod. My faith necessarily influences my political beliefs. I make no apologies whatsoever for this.

I believe the United States is the best political experiment in history. It has grown from a loose confederation of thirteen colonies with different histories and societies to a unified, continental nation. It is a unique combination of political freedom, economic success, legal equality, and social mobility, providing security for its citizens against foreign enemies and domestic warfare.

• However, freedom, economic success, legal equality and security are interdependent. You can’t have lasting security without freedom. Most unfree states rely on an extensive system of police and military, with a heavy cost to the public purse.

• You can’t have economic success without the chance for all to rise socially. When whole groups are kept down, you lose the best use of their minds and hands. As Booker T. Washington noted at the Atlanta Exposition of 1885, “Nearly sixteen millions of hands will aid you in pulling the load upward, or they will pull against you the load downward.” The South did not really rise until the Civil Rights Act of 1964 was implemented.

• You can’t have liberty without security from invasion and civil war. The sad history of central African states shows this, particularly the multi-sided war in the eastern Congo, Rwanda, and the war in Sudan.

• You can’t have social mobility without legal equality; read Shakespeare’s The Merchant of Venice to see how riches couldn’t buy security. Then read any good history of the Holocaust to see how riches couldn't buy security.

Why is there government?

The purpose of government is twofold.

The Apostle Paul noted: “Let every soul be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and the authorities that exist are appointed by God. Therefore whoever resists the authority resists the ordinance of God, and those who resist will bring judgment on themselves. For rulers are not a terror to good works, but to evil. Do you want to be unafraid of the authority? Do what is good, and you will have praise from the same.  For he is God’s minister to you for good. But if you do evil, be afraid; for he does not bear the sword in vain; for he is God’s minister, an avenger to execute wrath on him who practices evil. Therefore you must be subject, not only because of wrath but also for conscience’ sake. For because of this you also pay taxes, for they are God’s ministers attending continually to this very thing.  Render therefore to all their due: taxes to whom taxes are due, customs to whom customs, fear to whom fear, honor to whom honor.” (Romans 13:1 -7, New King James Version)

As the Preamble to the United States Constitution states, it is “to establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity.”

I do not believe in anarchism. Human nature indicates that we often want something others have, whether that be resources to make wealth, real wealth, the power to allocate wealth, or power for its own sake. If we don’t get what we want and others have, we may try to discuss the issue, but it’s easier to take it from someone else.

Two thieves and murderers were crucified next to Jesus as an example of original sin. One noted that they were getting what they deserved. The other railed in anger because he was not rescued. There is such a thing as taking responsibility.

The tension between liberty and repression

Whenever one human places restrictions on another human, liberty is lost. Liberty is also lost without restrictions. There is a tension between repression and liberty. Government is to punish misconduct and to support responsibility; but good government also encourages human liberty. By establishing a balance of powers in a government and a Bill of Rights, the United States Constitution provided an example of both. However, one amendment is ignored in spirit, if not in letter:

The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people. (Tenth Amendment)

This is because the Necessary and Proper Clause of the Constitution states

The Congress shall have Power - To make all Laws which shall be necessary and proper for carrying into Execution the foregoing Powers, and all other Powers vested by this Constitution in the Government of the United States, or in any Department or Officer thereof. (Article One of the United States Constitution, section 8, clause 18)

It’s just too easy to combine this with “The Congress shall have power . . . To regulate commerce with foreign nations, and among the several states, and with the Indian tribes;” (Article I, Section 8, Clause 1, 3) to allow the Federal government to do what it wants to do.

The shining city on the hill is run by GS-9s

I have never doubted the sincerity of the framers of law during the New Deal and the Great Society. In the former case, economic crisis and political necessity compelled the Roosevelt Administration to do something then. In the latter case, social and political inequality compelled the Johnson Administration to carry out what the Kennedy Administration could not do. But good intentions do not always result in good government.

The problem with visions in government is that the visionary has a dream, but it’s carried out by GS-9s. Once a government agency is authorized, it continues to exist even if its reason for being no longer exists. In several cases overseas, bureaucracies have outlasted the empires which created them. New purposes are invented and bureaucracy rolls along, always doing, rarely thinking “Where are we going and why are we doing this?”

Do we need a Department of Education or a Department of Housing and Urban Development? Could they be carried out by smaller, more flexible agencies?

Why does the Department of Energy demonstrate so little of it?

Government that is bigger than it needs costs the public more than it should, either directly in taxes or indirectly in paperwork to satisfy. A business owner filling out paperwork is doing something other than generating wealth for his or her business. (Note to business owners: I am available at reasonable rates to fill out paperwork).

The best thing for energetic and good government to do is to free people to do what they can do without interference. Let businessmen generate wealth. Let workers work without restrictions on trades or sites – if they’re no good, they won’t make money. Let teachers teach without mandates of what must be taught. Let reporters report and announcers announce and pundits pundit and commentators sprout eyes and get buried… oops.

Freedom includes the right to be obnoxious

People of manners do not need to be told what is impolite or crude to say about others. “Hate speech” is often misapplied to include “speech I disagree with” rather than “inciting people to lynch someone”. Surely society can impose its own sanctions on a robed yahoo without exercising freedom.

The freedom to exercise religious beliefs is vital to any society. Despite the dreams of atheists, religion is wired into the human nervous system and it’s not going away. People have the right to organize by religion to carry out what functions they believe pleases God the best. The only restrictions should prohibit practices human sacrifice or slavery. If a religious group believes an activity such as homosexuality is a sin, they have the right to exclude homosexuals from leadership positions. If a group doesn’t believe women can be priests, then they shouldn’t have to accept women as priests. At the same time, religions must persuade others to believe, not compel them to belief.

An individual practice of religious beliefs must be respected; however, individual practice of religion must not be oppressive in itself. No one likes a Pharisee. If you’re in the taxicab business and you don’t want to carry alcohol or dogs, and you’re the only provider in town, you have the obligation to make alternate arrangements.

There must be a freedom to dissent. That freedom to dissent must be a broad freedom. Calling a President a moron, a tyrant, or evil may be incorrect or impolite, but it must never be curtailed. If this is true for President Bush, it is true for President Obama.

No one should be punished for believing a set of religious or political beliefs. It is all right to exclude them from a body of politicians if their beliefs aren’t the same as that body of politicians, but it’s a stupid idea to cut them off altogether. Groupthink was a plague on the Kennedy Administration. It led to the Bay of Pigs. It also led to the practices of the George W. Bush Administration people hated.

If you’re going to be a Republican, be a Republican!

I believe political parties are the tools by which issues are solved and not a problem in themselves. I believe the Republican Party should be the party of small government with financial discipline, maximum economic liberty and strong foreign power projection. When the Republican Party strays from these positions, it gets its butt kicked in elections and deserves every bruise it gets. We lost in 2008 despite having the better candidates for the White House because we didn’t pay attention to our principles.

I don’t believe in bipartisanship unless the issue is so urgent as to threaten national security. An example of good bipartisanship came on December 8, 1941, when the Republican caucus announced its complete cooperation in carrying out the war against Japan. An example of bad bipartisanship came in the last few years.  Most of the time I’ve seen Democrats call on Republicans to be “bipartisan” when it means not fighting the Democratic agenda. There’s bipartisanship and there is ‘Gleichschaltung’ – forced cooperation. If you’re going to run over us with a truck, please don’t assume we’re going to stand still with a lily in our hands.

Avoid the temptation of putting that truck in gear

I hope the Obama Administration has a similar set of beliefs. However, from what I have seen since the election, the only belief President-elect Obama has indicated is the unspoken one, “Barack Hussein Obama should be President of the United States,” and the rather nebulous “We should all work together.” I see dangerous indications from Senate Majority Leader Reid, Speaker Pelosi, and incoming Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel that anyone who stands in the way of the Obama Administration will be punished. Furthermore, the dislike for Rush Limbaugh may lead to a re-imposition of the “Fairness Doctrine.” How far will this attitude of intolerance be allowed? Will the IRS start investigating prominent and not-so-prominent opponents of the Obama Administration? What about the Secret Service and the FBI?

What about the acts of petty officials?

You can’t have effective government without liberty. You can’t have liberty if you punish the right to dissent. If you don’t have liberty, then you lose security and strength.

A Salute to Great Soldiers: The Doughboy and Pershing

They shall grow not old, as we that are       left grow old:
      Age shall not weary them, nor the years contemn.
      At the going down of the sun and in the morning
      We will remember them.

Lawrence Binyon, For the Fallen (1914), fourth stanza

On June 14th, the next day after his arrival in France, [General Pershing] visited the tomb of Napoleon, and stood with uncovered head before the resting place of the famous French soldier. The ceremony connected with this visit was of a striking character. As the American party entered the grounds of the Hotel des Invalides they passed a detachment of veterans of French wars, thrown up at salute. Passing into the vast rotunda, with its walls hung with battle flags, the party proceeded below to the crypt where the sarcophagus of Napoleon reposed. Entrance to this crypt is restricted to crowned heads or the rulers of states. Conducted by Marshal Joffre, General Pershing and his staff proceeded to the crypt. The great key was inserted in the brass door, and the French escort stepped aside, leaving General Pershing facing the door alone. He turned the key and opened the door. From an alcove inside of the crypt, the governor of the Invalides took Napoleon's sword, handed it to General Pershing, who held it at salute and then kissed the hilt. The same ceremony was followed with the cross of the cordon of the Legion of Honor. This was the greatest honor France ever bestowed on any man.  No dignitary of France nor foreign king had ever before been allowed to hold the historic relics in his hand.
---

America's Part in the World War by Richard Joseph Beamish,  Francis Andrew March. 1919. pp 97-98

Finally, I pay the supreme tribute to our officers and soldiers of the line. When I think of their heroism, their patience under hardships, their unflinching spirit of offensive action, I am filled with emotion which I am unable to express. Their deeds are immortal, and they have earned the eternal gratitude of our country.

--General of the Armies John J. Pershing, in World's War Events, ed. by Allen Leon Churchill, page 270

When we remember the wars America has fought, we must remember that they are fought by young men and women who must be led by the best leaders we can produce. If the President-elect wishes to change the nature of the campaign against terror from Iraq to Afghanistan, then, sir, give them the best possible. Don't stint in the name of economy; don't impose any criterion on our leaders but their intelligence, skill, and honesty. Don't undercut them for political gain. Iraq is won in the greater part; don't throw that away.

Wizard Prang!

The main purpose of this blog is to point out mistaken policies and to check any over-inflated egos of the Obama Administration. However, one cannot be a critic and be only negative. A critic of society must also point out praiseworthy acts, no matter who does them.

I salute the members of the Royal Air Force who saved the life of pilot Jim O’Neill on October 31, 2008. Mr. O’Neill was flying a Cessna when he suffered a stroke, causing temporary blindness. After calling a Mayday, an RAF team from nearby Linton-on-Ouse sent a Tucano T1 prop aircraft that served as his guide and enabled him to land safely. Mr. O’Neill is recovering at hospital.

These airmen deserve our applause. In the days of the Roman Republic, they’d get a Civic Crown for saving the life of a fellow citizen. I hope the British government recognizes them with suitable medals soon.

Politicians love to point out “unsung heroes” such as these men and women of the RAF. It can be annoying to hear this, because often the politician has no intention to emulate the courage or innovation they laud in public. The requirement to go along with other politicians, or the need to please key constituencies, blinds them to the subtext—that if courage and innovation are good in private life, they are also good in public life. That is the true American mos maiorum – the custom the ancestors gave us.

And yet, this change was based on sound, existing practices combined in a new way. The RAF air traffic controllers and pilots didn’t have to sweep away the Mayday call or procedures to scramble an interceptor to save Mr. O’Neill. They used what had been given to them. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

So, there is an object lesson for the Obama Administration: make change based only on necessity, and base the changes on sound, known principles.

The story of Mr. O’Neill can be found at http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/article5107128.ece

An explanation of mos maiorum can be found at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mos_maiorum

Congratulations, Mr. President-Elect. It's Your Fault.

Congratulations, Mr. President-Elect. You won the election. Now it's your fault.

Your fault, you say? Why, there are 70-odd days left in the Bush Administration. How can it be your fault?

Well, it's because you were the one who promised change, and you promised change based on your charisma. You made very few policy statements in your speeches, but spoke of glittering generalities. You promised to reach out and get opposing forces talking to each other.

So, your charisma is what you are depending on to get you through the first few months of your Administration, before you have to make the really hard decisions, such as:

How can you afford to fund a medical insurance program and increased spending domestically and lower the taxes of everyone making less than $250,000? You vaguely mention "waste in government", but one man's waste is a Senator's irreplaceable program.

How are you going to get the Iranians to drop plans for a nuclear weapon?

How are you going to get the Russians to stop using oil and natural gas as weapons against Europe? How are you going to guarantee to the Baltic states and Ukraine that they are safe from Russian irredentists?

 

What do you do about the Taliban? You said that's the real war. What do you do with General Petraeus, an officer you have told you mistrust and have no confidence in? If he's doing a good job, then don't you owe him an apology and public support? It would make you bigger in the eyes of the public who didn't vote for you.

How are you going to get the Europeans to send forces to Afghanistan?

How are you going to get the 46% who didn't vote for you to support your programs? You need them to buy in to some extent, and your allies in Congress have been looking for a chance to ram some pet projects through. Even Speaker Pelosi is urging caution! Can you trust her to control her fellow Democrats? She couldn't control them in the previous Congress.

The kids want a dog? Learn to herd cats!

 

Remember -- it's your charisma that your supporters like the most (And I the least). You say that you will be able to negotiate with Ahmadinejad  and Putin on a basis of mutual trust. And both will smile and pose for the pictures, and then do something that you thought they wouldn't do. Actions speak louder than words.

So, congratulations, Mr. President-elect. If you don't succeed in your goals, it's your fault.